Paul Slakey, M.A., MFT, CSAT

Since 1993 I have specialized in the assessment and treatment of sex and love addiction in men. My treatment includes individual, couples and group therapy.

I have trained extensively with Patrick Carnes, Ph,D. in the assessment and treatment of sex and love addiction and am certified in this specialty by the International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals.

Men initially come in for three individual assessment sessions. During the third session I discuss treatment options and make recommendations based upon information gathered in the first two sessions.

Additional individual sessions may be indicated, some couples work to help in the restoration of intimacy and trust, and/or some time in one of my therapy groups for men with this issue may be recommended.

Dr. Carnes says and I agree that where addiction is present the only and best hope for lasting recovery is a combination of group therapy and involvement in a twelve stop program.

The groups are small, seven men to a group, meet weekly for an hour and a half, and require a minimum commitment of 12 weeks. Most men find the support and feedback of their peers so helpful that they stay longer than the minimum requirement.

The men join one group based on availability and their personal preference. I currently offer groups on Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Clients pick just one group, subject to availability, and that is their group for the duration of their stay in my program.

At any point in the process I encourage the men to bring in their spouse or significant other so that I can address questions and concerns and suggest support options. These sessions would be in addition to the three assessment sessions.

What is a Sex Addiction?
The "drug of choice" for a sex addict can include any number of activities including: excessive masturbation, internet pornography, frequenting prostitutes, anonymous sex, voyeurism, exhibitionism, affairs, serial relationships, and a host of other sexually related behaviors. One's behavior becomes an addiction when despite efforts to stop -- a person engages in the activity repeatedly, even when it causes negative consequences.

As with many addictions, destructive behavior develops as a means to cope with difficult emotions or experiences. Stopping addictive behaviors is definitely possible, as can be attested by the thousands of recovering alcoholics who have worked the AA 12-step programs.

However, getting to what's underneath these destructive tendencies and finding healthy alternative ways of responding to life can be a daunting task and is often best accomplished with the help of a skilled professional. I am a licensed psychotherapist, a sex addict in recovery, and have been helping men and women for over a decade who struggle with a variety of sexually compulsive behaviors. Call me if you have any questions or would like to set up an initial appointment. I'll give you a sense right away as to whether therapy will be helpful to your situation. (If we decide to continue, but you can't afford the full fee, I can make moderate adjustments in some cases).

Many people struggle with sexual compulsive behavior for many years before they reach out for help. And often they have never talked about it to anyone. * If you find that you've answered "yes" to at least five of the questions above, you may have an addiction that is centered around sexual activity.* Help is available! You just have to call.